GENERAL
FULL NAME mactavish, john laith
ALSO KNOWN AS soap
BIRTH DATE 27 december
AGE
ZODIAC capricorn
GENDER trans male
PRONOUNS he ⁄ himOCCUPATION sergeant in the SASBIRTHPLACE glasgow, scotland
NATIONALITY scottish
LANGUAGE english, scots, a little scottish gaelicPARENTS
SIBLINGS
HEIGHT 5'10
EYES blue
HAIR brown, mohawk
BUILD strong, athleticSCARS chin, over left eye, top surgery, various others
TATTOOS SAS emblem on right arm
PIERCINGS earlobe gauges, left helix
OTHER n/aFACECLAIM neil ellice
to view redacted information, click on the text!
this is information that would likely only be known to those close to the muse, if at all.
biography
born to roman catholic parents in scotland, growing up with 2 sisters (both younger), john had a busy childhood. his father left when he was 11, and with his mother working several jobs to try and keep the family afloat, she never had much time for them. slowly, her responsibilities for looking after the younger girls and the house became john's - getting them to school, cooking their meals, keeping the house clean, etc. it was a lot to deal with on top of his own schoolwork and life.he was always more of a ‘tomboy’ throughout his life, but this was totally as normal. energetic and active, he was on his school football teams throughout his education - it even seemed like he might have a future in it. he had a passion for it, often playing goalkeeper. it wasn’t until he was 13 that he really started questioning his gender, which sent him into a bit of a crisis. growing up surrounded by religion, he at first thought there was something incredibly wrong with him, terrified of telling his family or friends in case they thought so too. so he repressed it as much as he could, prayed that god would rid him of those thoughts and forgive him for whatever he had done to deserve them.when he was 14, the mactavishes visited some family down in england. one of said cousins was a member of the 23rd regiment of the special air service and invited john along to see what the british army was like. his goals changed in an instant, deciding then and there that he wanted to be a part of the sas. much to his mother's displeasure, as soon as he had finished school at 16, he was signing up for the army. despite it being legal to sign up for the british army at 16, john still decided to lie about his age. not only would he get more money and have better luck in getting promoted, but he also didn’t want to be shamed and treated like a child when he’d never felt like one in the first place. so, he lied about his age, saying he was 18 when he joined. his mother, who didn’t know he’d lied, considered this wasted opportunity - while his grades overall were simply decent, he excelled in maths and science, particularly chemistry, his teachers often attempting to encourage him to go to university and apply these skills. he never listened. labs just weren't for him.before he left for the army, he came out to his family, thinking that if they reacted badly at least he wouldn’t have to be there any longer. his sisters were confused but accepting, but his mother was horrified. she thought she had gone wrong somewhere in raising him, or that something evil might have taken root in her daughter - but john left before she had the chance to do anything about it. being in the military and surrounded by that masculinity only made him more sure of his gender identity. so, as soon as he could after joining, he started the long process of his transition.he went through sas training after two years in the army, coming out the other side as the youngest ever to pass selection (that was with his fake age, too) - and with the highest mark in all 3 phases of his training. he became part of the 22nd sas regiment, for the first time joining somewhere new as john - as himself - and he knew he was in the right place.
other
john grew up with a pet cat - the neighbours dog used to chase it whenever they saw each other. he was bitten by this dog once when saving his cat and has hated dogs ever since.
he constantly feels the need to prove himself, worried that people won't take his rank seriously because he joined the sas so young, dismissing all the experience he has. he pushes himself a lot, often taking risks and ignoring injuries. he hates accepting help, convinced that it will make people look down on him.
used to have a helix piercing in his right ear, but while on leave at some point he got into a fight and his opponent ripped it out, leaving a small chunk taken out of his ear.
he later got his left helix done instead.
diagnosed with & takes meds for adhd. this would usually get him kicked out of the army, but price covered for him.
his love language is physical touch. massages, head scratches, etc. he thrives on physical contact - casually, purposefully, without realising, all the damn time.
he journals all the time. pages full of doodles and sketches, writing, games of noughts and crosses. he's drawn all members of the 141 in there, including what he could draw from memory of ghost's face beneath the mask. he doesn't want to forget what they look like if anything should happen.
he has trouble expressing negative emotions in front of his teammates, since he has always been labelled the cheerful one. both that, and because of the lingering influence of his father's 'boys don't cry' attitude in life.
left knee was injured once on a mission and never healed quite right, still acts up sometimes & he wears a knee brace when it does.
he was stabbed through the left hand on a mission once, had to have surgery to repair some of his tendons, now those middle fingers don't fully bend/clench.
he has plenty of religious trauma from growing up catholic and trans. he still sort of had faith when he joined the army, but quickly lost it - he hasn't removed it from his files yet, though. sometimes finds himself silently praying in dire moments, never sure whether he wants to curse god or beg for mercy.
at first, john resented his mother for all she had done. after some time away in the army, however, he worked up the courage to reach out to her and try to repair their relationship. to his delight, it was successful.
very good at pushing through exhaustion and hiding it, both from his training and from a childhood of not wanting his sisters to worry.
verses
currently under construction
if you want to know about any of these verses please let me know!
The Witcher
Werewolf Soap
MW2 (2009)